…the “kid” has been fired! Damnit, young adult, why do you do these things??? So disappointed but I guess it’ll pass. >sigh<
Feeling a little “quirky” this morning so image my surprise at finding this sculpture during my out-and-about this morning. For some reason, it pretty much sums up how I’m feeling.
Had a great Thanksgiving!!! Hope everyone else did too. Just scarfed down some leftovers and have come to the conclusion that I need to FORCE myself to go out dancing tonight. All the stress has caused me to go into these terrible bouts of binge eating and I’ve picked up an uncomfortable amount of weight. I’m feeling too lazy to go out but I need to …. get moving, get the blood flowing, get back into a more social mode. Ah!!! But I just wanna stay home watching internet TV!!!
Feeling a bit hemmed in. I need to go somewhere, do something…
… I don’t know where and I don’t know what, I just need to be away from “here”.
I’m crying. I’m finally crying and not pretending that things are okay. I thought if I believed hard enough things would work out, that they’d turn around. But there’s just more shit being added to the pile. I have to figure out how to get the hell out of here. And if that sounds like I’m running away, then so be it. But I’m just so tired of being tired.
I want to rant but I don’t want to write a ranting post. I have issues. I have problems. I want to smash some people in the face. Others I want to punch in the throat. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to collapse into a heaving mess on the floor. But most of all, I just want to be OK. So instead of writing about how unhappy I am [which I already did], I’ll just take this opportunity to breathe deeply and try to come to the understanding that this will pass. Whatever “this” is, it will be okay. And now we’re breathing … breathing … breathing and relaxing… and feeling just a smidge bit better.
It always feels like I jinx myself when I admit out loud that I am happy. I had a smashing couple weeks, I posted about those smashing few weeks and then, BAM!!! Life started slapping me around left and right, and whoa was I a mess for a minute. But “whatevs”, I say. I’m determined to hold on to whatever joys I can find, even if they be small, I will treat them as if they are huge mountains of wonder and amazingness and I will fake myself happy until the feeling becomes real again.
I always post my moaning and groaning when I’m feeling bad and/or life isn’t going the way I want it to (which, half the time I’m not even sure HOW I want my life to go, but that’s another story). So I guess I should also post when things are going so damn pleasingly well. My son’s birthday came and went without incident. Can’t believe he’s はたち!!! Time flies, huh? Well, my birthday was the day after Lil Man’s and it was an unbelievable week of fun — dancing all weekend, hanging out for girls’ night out with my Sis, birthday breakfast with friends and co-workers. Wow!! The job is still as stressful as ever but I don’t want to quit every day … just 1-2 days a week. Let’s just say Obamacare/The Affordable Healthcare Act is kicking our butts. GREAT idea but the implementation, whoa!!! Anywho, that’s me at the moment. Happy and carefree. Guess I’ll try to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can. Happy, happy, Joy, joy everybody!!!